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[16 May 2009|06:09pm] |
Sat behind the most tone-deaf lady in the world on the bloody bus today. Didn't know there was anyone out there who was so incapable of knowing one pitch from another. That'll teach me to go with Muggle transport.
She sang songs from Les Misérables all the way. At a hundred decibels.
Pity me.
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[20 Mar 2009|07:54pm] |
Ladies, a poll.
Handkerchiefs. Those tissues made of cloth that people blow their noses into, wipe their mouths off with, and then rearrange in their pockets so that next time they'll have a clean corner to do some other sort of dirty work with the next time they need.
So when you're crying, ladies... I'm just wondering. Is it creepy or is it polite to offer you a handkerchief? Does it make a difference if it's used or not? Is it the thought that counts? Should every gentlemen be carrying one of those magic squares of fabric?
Opinions, please.
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[13 Mar 2009|03:08pm] |
I recently read a fascinating exposé about the troubles of the Muggle pornography industry. Did you know that every thirty-nine minutes, a new porn film is being made somewhere in the Americas? And here in our jolly roger itself, we spend 1.97 billion dollars on pornography every year. The US is pretty high up there with 13.33 billion, but China blows it all away with 27.4 billion dollars each year. You know that's something like seventy-five million dollars every day? Divide that by China's current population, which ought to be around 1.3 million, that means on average, each Chineseman is spending $57.69 on pornography every single day.
Makes me feel a little bit better about myself.
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[03 Mar 2009|04:24pm] |
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... So my day was all right.
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[22 Jan 2009|11:57pm] |
Two words.
Baby-shaped lollipops.
( taped into journal )
Oh, I guess that was three words, wasn't it? Do people actually buy those?
Roger, Tristan, Brook, MarI hope you know that when you knock someone up, you're getting a dozen.
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